You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
