the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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