Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
