rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
