a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
