when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
