There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
