I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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