the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
