Welp...herpes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
