my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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