If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
