Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize