Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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