i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
