Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
