i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
