well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
