I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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