I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
