Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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