great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize