So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
