wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
