yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
