I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize