She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Text me some of your sweat
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
