i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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