He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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