You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
