So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
