Sponge bath it is.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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