I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
