So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
