Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
