I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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