I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
