dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize