You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i've created a new STD.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize