Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
did you just send me my own nude
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
