Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
