she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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