no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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