I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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