toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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