talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
