If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
