He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
