I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
