so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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