i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize