i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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