I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize