At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
