im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
