Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
