you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
