Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
